We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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