I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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