I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I need moral support for this bender
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
