i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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