Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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