I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
