He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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