Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
