don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
