Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
