I must be too annoying 4 u.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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