return my video game
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
