apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
