I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
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