i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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