I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
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