addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
