Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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