i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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