She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
