But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i think my mom watched the whole time
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
