btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
PANTIES FOUND
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