I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
