let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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