Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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