i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
