He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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