At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
