you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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