I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
