she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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