:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
