I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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