so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
