I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
