Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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