i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I supernannyed him into submission
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
