dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
