I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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