So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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