New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
