Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
