stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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