i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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