What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
