just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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