u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
