Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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