omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
