I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
