I hope mine doesn't look like that
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
