Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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