I am in a vortex of obligation.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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